As Tears Go By Read online

  AS TEARS GO BY

  McCullough Mountain 6

  Lydia Michaels

  Erotic Romance

  Secret Cravings Publishing

  www.secretcravingspublishing.com

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  A Secret Cravings Publishing Book

  Erotic Romance

  As Tears Go By

  Copyright © 2014 Lydia Michaels

  E-book ISBN: 978-1-63105-407-5

  First E-book Publication: November 2014

  Cover design by Dawné Dominique

  Edited by Faith Summers

  Proofread by Rene Flowers

  All cover art and logo copyright © 2014 by Secret Cravings Publishing

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission.

  All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

  PUBLISHER

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  www.secretcravingspublishing.com

  Dedication

  This book is dedicated to those whose lives have been touched by Autism.

  And to Taviana.

  They said you couldn’t speak, but they were wrong.

  Swing away, sweet baby.

  Swing away.

  The Cravings Ebook Club

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  *Trouble With a Cowboy, a western, erotic romance:

  18 wheels had her heart until one hard-up cowboy found her kickin' up her heels and propositions her to take his bull to Vegas.

  Jacie Hawkins drives big wheelers for a livin'. Something not a lot of women do. Littleton Oklahoma is just a dry stopover for a few hours of rest and relaxation at the nearest bar. Jacie needs to find a hot cowboy to release some of her pent up frustrations on for the night, but wannabe's aren't her style.

  Tucker Marshall needs a big-rig driver to haul his prize bull to National Finals Rodeo and he needs one fast. Who would have thought he'd find one shootin' pool at the local bar dressed to kill and takin' numbers?

  Can some slashed tires and an ornery bull bring two hard-headed people together for some fun in the sun and a little more?

  **Blood Kisses (Nightwalkers 1), paranormal erotic romance:

  Ashleigh Brown, the author of the popular Nightwalkers series, lives a quiet life free of the limelight. She keeps her real identity secret by writing under the pen name, Victoria Allure. She soon finds herself in a bind when she's kidnapped by a group of handsome vampires seeking Victoria. She then agrees to meet their Master, who's a huge fan of her books. But instead of meeting him, she accidentally crosses paths with her rock star crush. He is the sexy muse behind Nightwalkers and the man she based the hero in the series upon. She would do anything to meet him but little does she know her crush has a secret...

  We will try to match your books to your preferences, however, if you’re a major paranormal fan, we suggest you join the Cravings Paranormal Club. Everything is the same except that three of your four books will be paranormal. The remaining book will be of a different genre.

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  AS TEARS GO BY

  McCullough Mountain 6

  Lydia Michaels

  Copyright © 2014

  Chapter One

  “You just march right on over there and say… Hi. My name’s Becca. I’m celebrating the end of a very long and boring marriage to a man who only fucked me on anniversaries and birthdays, always with his socks on—in the missionary position—until he decided to seduce our neighbor, the succubus slut from hell, better known as Beelzebub’s Whore. I think you might possibly be the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on and I want to offer you one night of wild, swinging from the chandeliers, no strings attached, smurf sex.”

  Becca Stevens’ lips parted as her insane best friend, Nikki, said all that without taking a single breath. Shaking her head she swallowed and asked, “Is that all?”

  Nikki’s lips drew at her tiny swizzle straw. “Mmmm! You should also require he make you come—at least three times.”

  “I can’t say that!”

  Nikki sighed and placed her empty cocktail aside, leveling Becca with an uncompromising stare. “Honey, it’s been a decade. A decade of sad, unfulfilling, plan your grocery list while he ruts for a grand total of two minute, unceremonious sex. You need to come.”

  Becca rolled her eyes. “I can’t say any of that, let alone the part about coming! And what the heck’s smurf sex?”

  The waitress passed and Nikki flagged her over. “We’ll take another round, please.” She spun back to Becca. “Smurf sex is when you fuck until you’re blue in the face.”

  “Oh.”

  Becca wouldn’t know anything about that. If she calculated all the minutes she’d ever spent having sex, she’d probably only reach a grand total of two hundred. No, she was exaggerating. It would probably add up to an hour. Pathetic.
>
  It had been ten years. Ten years of awful, unfulfilling, sometimes painful, sex. The realization of how bad her sex life had been came the afternoon she returned home and thought someone was being murdered in her house.

  Cries built as she’d crept up the stairs to her bedroom, carrying a cast iron bookend. It was the only weapon she could find. Having never been prone to violence, she wasn’t sure what she planned to do with the heavy bookend. The capacity to bludgeon someone really wasn’t in her gentle nature. But someone was definitely being attacked—or so she’d thought.

  Six months later and she still couldn’t get rid of the image of her husband, Kevin, drilling into Loretta like he was trying to strike oil. The disgusting sight was permanently seared into her mind’s eye. In ten years, he’d never once touched her like that. Not once.

  Kevin appeared in her life at the end of her senior year, right after she and her mother moved to the area. First, he’d been nothing more than her shy friend. Over time he asked her out and eventually they wound up making out in the back of her cramped Beetle convertible.

  After graduation he proposed. The proposal was unexpected, but she’d said yes all the same. There was a laundry list of unsound reasons why she agreed to be his wife. All of her friends were a thousand miles away in Florida. She was lonely. She had yet to make many new friends in Pittsburgh. And, believe it or not, Kevin was nice. Now, years later and much wiser, she understood he wasn’t so nice after all.

  When they were kids, Kevin was still in the ugly duckling stage of life. His confidence was nil and he’d seemed surprised a girl like Becca would notice him. Not that she was anything spectacular. To her thinking, she’d always been about average.

  Always the quiet type, mostly because life hadn’t presented her with many exciting opportunities, Becca learned to value the small things. That made marriage very easy for Kevin—until life got complicated.

  She was sick of it, sick of being the good girl, the go-to girl, the quiet, don’t make any waves and take one for the team girl. That was why she’d chosen Nikki to be her wingman tonight.

  The divorce papers were signed that afternoon, sealing away a decade of her life she’d never get back. Nikki was well informed about what had happened. The more Becca confessed about her marriage, the more her friend became utterly appalled. Becca now understood how truly pathetic her marriage had actually been.

  As Kevin approached his thirties, he started to change. Maybe he was suffering some sort of early mid-life crisis. He’d joined a gym, bought a new car they couldn’t afford, and started fussing with his hair a lot. The whole thing puzzled Becca until one day she looked at her husband and saw someone she barely recognized.

  His body trimmed down and his hair magically turned a shade darker than it had naturally been. His attitude swanked of confidence he’d never displayed before. Such flagrant boasting grated on her daily. It was around that time that he’d started acting “neighborly” with Loretta.

  It hurt at first. In the beginning Becca had blamed herself for his cheating, knowing she’d traded her extravagant side for jaded sensibility several years ago. But no matter how low key her life had become, nothing justified his infidelity.

  Kevin was the one who needed to prove something. Not once had he come to her stating he was unsatisfied with their personal relationship.

  Their lackluster marriage was an oversight, sure, but there wasn’t always time to primp and prep the way a waiting mistress could—certainly not in Becca’s world. But she held no pity for herself and accepted even less from others.

  While some might view her life as encumbered, she was happy to carry the responsibilities piled on her. Perhaps if her husband had lent a hand when family life turned challenging she would’ve been more invested in their sex life. Her lack of carnal enthusiasm was greatly his doing.

  Nikki whacked her in the arm. “He’s leaving!”

  Becca glanced longingly at Mr. Beautiful. It wasn’t like she was going to make the offer Nikki suggested. He was beautiful, though.

  His hair was the perfect shade of blond, clipped neatly in a way that showed off the slight waves. The dark blue, tailored suit he wore matched the sharpest blue eyes she’d ever seen. No ring, but there was no way a guy that pretty was single. Either that or he was gay.

  “You need to go talk to him before he gets away!”

  Becca let out a disheartened breath. It was a fun fantasy, but that’s all it would ever be. “No. He’s not my type—” Her chair tipped and she was abruptly dumped onto her feet, luckily catching herself—none too gracefully—on the table before she landed on her ass. “Nikki!”

  Her friend glared at her. “Why am I here?”

  “Because you’re supposed to be my friend.” She attempted to reseat herself only to have the seat snatched away.

  Scowling, and making quite a scene, Nikki snapped, “No. I’m here to make sure you close out the last ten years of your life with a physical bang and I’m not leaving until that’s been accomplished. Thoroughly. You, my friend, are banging that guy tonight.”

  “Will you knock it off?” Becca hissed, her face heating to an uncomfortable burn.

  “Not a chance. Look at him, Becs! He’s gorgeous. Can’t you imagine your legs wrapped all around those strong shoulders and stroking against that fine, wavy blond hair? No! Of course you can’t, because you’ve spent the last decade screwing Kevin and his pintsize penis doing a sad impression of a baby toe. Now, I refuse—refuse—to let you go on living, never knowing what a full body, true, scream your lungs out, orgasm feels like. And that’s the guy who’s gonna give it to you.”

  Her face had to be bright red. Her chest heaved as she caught her breath. Licking her dry lips she whispered, “Will you please stop? People are staring at us.” She didn’t need the whole world knowing she’d never had a real orgasm.

  Nikki reached for her purse. “How much will it take?”

  “What?”

  “How much?” She slapped her checkbook on the table and uncapped a pen with her teeth.

  “You’re going to pay me to have sex with someone?”

  “No, I’m going to pay you to make a proposition. One line, only a few words, to that man over there, and I’ll cut you a check, whether he takes you up on it or not. Give me a number.”

  She wasn’t doing this.

  “You know what? Forget it. I know exactly what I’ll do.” Her hand moved quickly as she scribbled. She tore the note away and handed it to Becca. “My gift, from me to you. I’m buying you a divorce.”

  Becca’s jaw dropped. Nikki was loaded and Becca definitely was not, but there was no way she was letting her friend reimburse her the cost of her divorce. “No, Nikki—”

  “Take the check.”

  “No!”

  “Take the check.”

  “No!”

  “Becca, take the damn check or so help me God, I won’t be your friend anymore.”

  “What are you, twelve?”

  “Take. The. Check.”

  “I’m not taking the stupid check. Now tear it up or I will.”

  “I’ll tear it up if you go proposition him.” A devious smile curled the side of her unreasonable friend’s mouth.

  Becca’s teeth clamped tight and she growled, “I hate you.”

  Nikki laughed. “Go on. Before he escapes. And I’ll be watching, so you better offer him exactly what I said.”

  Becca shook her head, but grabbed her purse, hissing, “I am not saying smurf sex.” Turning, she stomped over to the other end of the bar. Once she spotted the man in question her steps staggered. Turning back to Nikki, she cowered as her friend shot her a threatening glare.

  Right. To the guy.

  Heart fluttering in her chest like a ballistic hummingbird, her lungs drew in a long ragged breath. He was perfect. Everything about him was a masterpiece. Sluggishly, she baby stepped in his direction. Her hand casually ran over her shoulder length blonde hair and she tugged at the bottom of her shirt,
trying to show the slight amount of cleavage she had to offer.

  Licking her lips she jaggedly took the last step in front of his table and froze.

  His head slowly turned as he sensed her presence—the moron standing across from him, gawking. Blue eyes traveled over her questioningly and she cleared her throat.

  He smiled a bit nervously. “Hello.”

  Oh. She needed to shut her eyes for a second. That voice was so thick and smooth she nearly hummed. Crap. Was she humming? Her lips firmed, cutting off any accidental sounds of nervous pleasure.

  Forcing her eyes to meet his gaze, she squared her shoulders. Deep breath. “Hello. My name’s Becca. I’m here celebrating my divorce.” Why did she sound like a cyborg? “I noticed you sitting here and I was wondering if you might be interested in a night of…” She could do this. “…no strings attached sex. With me. Becca. And no strings. All night. Sex. Anything you want. The smurf kind even.” Oh, my God, stop talking. “Me. Becca.”

  Those blue eyes glanced suspiciously around as though he were the target of a practical joke. “Is this a joke? Where’s the camera?”

  “No cameras.”

  His teeth flashed, as the corner of his mouth hooked upward in a devilish grin. Oh, boy. He was really, really pretty. “So then not anything I want.”

  His grin was contagious, but confusion cut her smile short. “Excuse me?”

  He shifted and draped his elbow over the back of a stool. His smirk turned cocky and she shot Nikki a nervous glance. Her friend nodded rapidly and waved her on. Dear God, she was starting to sweat.