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  Enough thinking about things that made me feel bad. I pushed my mug aside and scooted up on the counter. Noah watched closely as I placed my feet on either side of his stool, my legs dangling off the edge of the granite countertop.

  “What are you doing?” He eyed me carefully and placed his mug next to mine.

  “I want you.”

  His gaze lifted to my face and dropped back to the satin crotch of my panties. “I thought you couldn’t.”

  My cheeks flushed. “I need a wax.”

  “That’s all? I thought you had—”

  “I know. I will in a few days.”

  He scoffed. “You lied to me?”

  “Technically, I didn’t. You just assumed.”

  He frowned. “You think you should have the final say on everything, don’t you?”

  “Do you really want to waste time being mad about a misunderstanding, or do you want to take the opportunity in front of you?” I slowly parted my thighs.

  His fingers trailed up my knee and his mouth curved as he slid a finger under the seam of my panties. His stare lifted to my face, and a meaningful smirk curved the corner of his mouth.

  “May I?”

  Oh, my God, he was actually asking. And now I was soaked. “You may.”

  He slipped his fingers between my thighs, and I moaned, stretching back on the counter, opening for him. He intently fingered me, shifting onto his feet to get a better angle. My weight balanced on my elbows and my head angled back.

  His thumb nudged my clit and my breath hitched. His other hand gripped my hip as his mouth worked up my thigh.

  Warm breath teased my folds as my panties were nudged aside. “I wanna eat your pussy.”

  “How do you ask?”

  “I don’t.”

  “Noah.”

  “Let me eat your pussy.” He drilled a finger deep and teased my G-spot until I moaned.

  “That’s not asking.” I gasped as he continued to make me arch.

  “How about this… Do you want me to make you come, Avery?”

  Fair enough. It was a question if not a request. “Yes—make me come.”

  His hot lips closed over my clit, and I sighed, my eyes shutting in absolute bliss. His free hand slipped under my shirt and pulled down the cups of my bra, his fingers pulling hard at the tip of my nipple.

  He wrenched me closer, his mouth making a meal out of me, and my breathing accelerated. He released my nipple, and his hand closed over mine.

  Pulling my arm lower, he pressed my fingers between my thighs. My eyes flashed open at the touch of his tongue. He smiled, licking along the length of my middle finger, trying to penetrate my slit with his tongue.

  “Your turn, Avery. Make yourself come, and I want to hear my name when you do.”

  Did he think I wouldn’t do it? “Put your fingers back inside of me.”

  His teeth flashed as he shoved two fingers deep and started pumping. My hand rubbed over my clit as my eyes shut again. Pleasure knotted and tightened beneath our touch, his driving strokes pushing me faster than I could ever get there alone.

  I didn’t have to think about whose name I said. It was always his name. Every night I touched myself, it was his face I pictured. Peeking through my lashes, I watched him watch me, his breath coming fast as his fingers slid in and out of my body.

  “Noah…” It was starting. “Noah…” Almost there. “No—” My back arched as every muscle pulled tight and my pussy pulsed around his penetrating fingers. “—ahhhhhh…”

  My arm dropped to the countertop as I panted and then gasped. His mouth took the place of my touch, devouring my folds, licking, and tasting. His hands gripped my hips as he scraped his teeth over my tender flesh, stabbing his tongue deep. My legs draped over his shoulders as he lifted me higher, pulling me off the countertop and against his devastating mouth.

  The next orgasm came out of nowhere, crashing through me like a tidal wave and I screamed his name. I barely had a chance to process what happened as he lifted me in his arms and rushed me through his apartment.

  Soft pillows surrounded me as I bounced down onto his mattress. My panties were gone. Next went my shirt, and then my bra. I was cold, then burning hot as his body blanketed mine, flesh to flesh. He reached between us and I watched him fit a condom over his straining cock.

  He lifted a brow. “Open.”

  My eyes narrowed. “Ask.”

  “Avery, if I don’t get inside of you I’m going to go insane. Open your fucking legs.”

  I twitched at his command, but my legs parted of their own volition. His hips wedged between my thighs as if they belonged there. He thrust in, and my back bowed, my fingers twisting in the covers.

  His hips snapped forward, hard and fast, his hands groping my tits as his mouth kissed and licked my neck, biting at the sharp angle of my upturned jaw. I reached for his back, and he caught my hand, pressing it into the mattress.

  “Noah—”

  His mouth slammed over mine, and I moaned. He caught my other hand and pinned it in the pillows.

  “Look at me, Avery.”

  My attention jerked from his clamped hand holding mine, to his face, a frisson of discomfort spiking through me.

  “I’m not hurting you. I’m taking you. Give yourself to me.”

  My heart tripped out of rhythm as he leaned over me, filling me with his pumping cock, my hands totally useless as he held them over my head.

  “Let go of my hands.”

  “I don’t want to. I like pinning you down, same as you like having control.”

  My pussy tightened, and I didn’t know why. This wasn’t right. He wasn’t supposed to restrain me.

  “Noah, I’m not kidding. Let go.”

  His hips slowed. “What if I promised—”

  “I don’t want your promise. I want you to let go.” My hands were suddenly free.

  He withdrew and rolled onto his back. “There.”

  I frowned at him. “What are you doing?”

  “You want control? Take it.”

  My eyes narrowed. Was this some sort of trick? I watched him, once again not trusting his motives.

  But we couldn’t stop now. I wanted to fuck him. My way.

  Straddling his hips, I rose above his body and fit him against my slit. “Don’t grab my hands again.”

  “One day, you’ll beg me to hold you like that.”

  My jaw locked, and I sank onto him. “Not today.” Never.

  My clit rubbed along his pelvis bone as I rode fast and hard.

  His head tipped back in the pillows, his eyes shut, mouth tight. I frowned when I noticed his arms braced above his head as if tied there. Did he think his submission would upset me? Yeah, right.

  So why was this less exciting than it had been a minute ago? “Look at me.”

  His eyes flashed open, his expression blank as pools of blue watched me rock over him. His body stretched beneath mine, his ribs pressing against his skin as he breathed fast, but made no show of enjoyment otherwise. He wore a mask of indifference, and I hated it.

  “Stop looking at me like that.”

  He shut his eyes.

  Damn it. What was he doing? Why wasn’t this getting me off? I climbed off of him and stood, circling in place, unsure how to make this better.

  “Get up.”

  He stood, and my mind blanked. I needed him to do as I asked and do more than just lie there.

  “Fuck me against the wall.” I faced the wall and braced my hands against the surface, angling my ass out and bending my body at a sharp angle.

  His thighs brushed mine, but he didn’t touch me with his hands. His cock nudged my entrance, and then he was in, fucking at such a sedate pace it was a wonder he stayed hard.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  “You tell me! You’re the one calling the shots.”

  “Fuck me like you mean it!”

  His hands clapped onto my hips, and he plunged deep. My head yanked back as he fisted my hair, my t
hroat stretched at a vulnerable angle as his breath was suddenly at my ear. “Like this, Mistress?”

  I sucked in a breath as my arousal slid down the length of his cock, his palm flattening on my belly and holding me to him. He sank deeper.

  He was mocking me, giving me what I wanted but making sure it was on his terms. I grunted and tried to shift my hips away, but his hand groped my breast, squeezing hard and forcing me to stay put.

  “My turn, Avery. Stay still.”

  I sucked in a breath as he thrust hard and fast, giving me no time to adjust or think. My head fell forward as he released my hair, but then his hand closed around the front of my throat, drawing me back to his chest and pressing my front into the wall.

  “Tell me to fuck off, and I’ll stop.” He shoved his dick as deep as it could fit and I gasped. “Say no, and I’ll listen. Tell me to get off, and your wish is my command. Or just enjoy it for once.”

  He bit my shoulder, and I whimpered, my fingers holding his as they wrapped around my neck. I could breathe fine. He wasn’t cutting off my air, but he was holding me in such a vulnerable position.

  I couldn’t slow my heart from racing out of control. His other hand pressed against my lower abdomen, his splayed fingers seeking my clit.

  “Spread your fucking legs.”

  My feet stepped wide, balancing precariously on my toes, and I started at my compliance. It was as if I moved out of panic, but I wasn’t scared. Not really. Not of anything he could do to me physically. But I was terrified of the things he was doing to me on the inside.

  He rubbed my pussy, his dick pistoning in rapid strokes and I was suddenly screaming as my body clamped around his, pulsing until my legs gave out. His arm banded around my midsection, lifting me to my toes as he pinned me to the wall and continued to fuck me harder than I’d ever been fucked.

  My body was thrumming with pleasure, replete, and satisfied, but he wasn’t done, and it became perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to stop until he was good and satisfied.

  He suddenly withdrew, and I whimpered. I groaned as he hauled me from the wall and tossed me on the bed. He gripped his cock, guiding it back inside of me, his hands holding my legs wide.

  Outside, he’d been an angel in the snow, but here he was the devil in the dark. How could one man possess so many different sides?

  Why was I letting him do this to me, fuck me like I belonged to him, like he owned me? I should be fighting him.

  I lifted a hand to scratch his chest, and he caught my wrist before I even made contact, squeezing in warning, and pinning it to the bed. My legs bent back as he leaned forward, folding me against the mattress as his rapid thrusts slowed. The room quieted, as we held each other’s stare and panted.

  “Do you want me to stop, Avery?”

  Maybe it was because I didn’t want him to think I was weak. Or maybe it was because I wanted to be nothing in that moment but the source of his pleasure. I didn’t know why, but not knowing made me want to scream.

  Swallowing tightly, I glared into his eyes, accepting his challenge, and rasped, “If you can’t go on...”

  He slammed his hips forward, the blunt intrusion shutting me up and exemplifying his strength over me. Maybe it was because I wanted to see how far he’d go. How much it would take for him to actually break me, but the pain only added to my pleasure.

  He fucked me for days, years, and centuries. Time didn’t exist where we were, because the way he fucked me, it ensured the only thing that existed in my thoughts was him. And the longer he controlled the moment, the lighter my burdens weighed, shrinking into nothingness. Just Noah. Only Noah. Noah.

  He was my god and master, my lord and savior. My only one, my everything. I didn’t know how he did it or if it was even real, but nothing inside of me had the nerve or the will to tell him to stop. And in a twisted way, I envied him because he so easily consumed all the power I wished belonged to me.

  When he pulled out, he ripped the condom off and crawled over my fatigued body. His hand cupped the back of my neck, lifting my head off the pillows.

  “Open your mouth.”

  My mouth parted like a puppet, as if he held every string. He pressed his cock deep into my mouth, and my eyes watered. His grip on my neck tightened, and he smiled.

  “Look at those full lips wrapped around my cock. No getting out of it this time. I wish you could see how beautiful you are right now.”

  My shoulders tensed as he pressed deeper. He slowly wiped a tear from the corner of my eye, pulling back ever so slightly and angling in again. The crown of his cock pressed against the back of my throat and I moaned, the sound garbled and semi-panicked.

  He withdrew. “Should I stop?”

  I caught my breath, staring up at him, confused and curious, scared and excited. Fuck him. I could take whatever he could dish out. I opened.

  “Good girl.” He fed his cock over my tongue, his legs shifting as he moved closer, thrusting his hips downward, into the bed, into my face.

  His knees shifted, and my arms were suddenly trapped between his thighs at my sides. I shouted around his cock, and it was gone.

  “Look at me, Avery.” His voice snapped through my hysteria, and I blinked up at him. “Say the word, and I stop.”

  I couldn’t catch my breath. Time seemed to be moving twice as fast, and I was slipping into the dark and dangerous place I hated. Hated, but wanted to overcome. I wasn’t weak. My mouth opened again.

  “There’s my good girl.” But he didn’t shove his cock down my throat this time.

  He teased my spread lips, painting them with his arousal as he straddled my arms and shoulders. I just laid there, mouth open, panting for him.

  “Keep your mouth open wide for me, beautiful.”

  I blinked, so outside of myself, all sense of shame disappeared. My jaw loosened, and he rose above me, stroking his cock, his eyes staring into mine.

  “I’ve dreamed of coming in your pretty mouth… And you’ve teased me enough that I earned the pleasure.” He tugged his flesh hard and grunted as hot come splashed across my lips and tongue. “Averyyyyyy…” he hissed, jerking every last drop over my lips and tongue.

  My chin trembled as he looked down at me. My lips closed and tasted him. His finger trailed softly down the side of my face as he watched me swallow his release.

  “So beautiful.” His weight lifted off of me, and I remembered what it was to take a full breath.

  He pulled me to him, his body stretched beside mine, his mouth kissing my swollen lips, definitely tasting his own come.

  “You were very brave, Avery.” He cradled me to his chest, his hands petting over my hair and shoulders, rubbing soothing strokes down the length of my arms. “Very, very brave.”

  I didn’t have words or thoughts. All I had was Noah. Noah wanted to hold me, and I wanted to let him because Avery had gone somewhere else and I couldn’t find her right now.

  His lips pressed against my temple, his breathing deep and steady. My dazed mind followed the rhythm like a metronome, counting off time in little Noah beats.

  His kiss moved to the side of my face, his hands gently cupping my breasts as his body curled tighter around mine. I’d never been held so firmly in all my life. I wasn’t sure I could breathe like this, but he seemed to be breathing for the both of us.

  “Avery?”

  My thoughts scattered like frightened little woodland creatures at the sound of an approaching predator. “Hmm?”

  “Don’t run from me when I let you go.”

  My eyes flashed open, forced wide by a new emotion I didn’t recognize. Terror? Euphoria? Panic? Anxiety? Love? I didn’t know what it was. I was too exhausted to think. “Okay.”

  His mouth curved against my cheek. “Good girl.”

  “But Noah…”

  “Hmm?”

  “I’m going to hate you tomorrow.”

  “All right. But just for one day.”

  26

  Avery

  I tiptoed back
to my apartment before the sun came up. Noah was out cold, and the email announcing that classes were canceled due to the storm had already hit my inbox. The streets were a sheet of white, trapping me on Delancey Street with my instinct to avoid and nowhere to hide.

  Unsure what the day would bring, and honestly frightened about any awkward moments that might address last night, I escaped to the gym. I worked out as long as I could, hitting every possible machine, spending an extra thirty minutes on stretching, and then wasting as much time as I could doing yoga poses.

  It sucked that it was only quarter to eight when I returned upstairs. This day was going to take forever.

  After I showered, I received an email from Micah. We had to postpone our plans for tonight, but he said he wanted to talk to me. As I toweled off my damp hair, I called him.

  “You’re up early,” he answered.

  “My classes were canceled.”

  “Everything’s closed.”

  My stomach twisted with anticipation that could be good or bad. “You said you wanted to talk to me.”

  “Yes.” The slightest pause made me nervous. “I’ve been thinking about our arrangement, love. I know you’ve been thinking about it as well.”

  “I have.” Mostly because it no longer seemed right to charge for time spent with someone I wanted to keep in my life after graduation.

  “How would you feel about continuing our association?”

  “I don’t understand. Are you saying you want to keep seeing me after I graduate?”

  “Yes, but I’d like to renegotiate our terms.”

  I folded the damp towel on my lap and frowned. I always made time for Micah, so I couldn’t imagine what more he wanted. Maybe specific days of my week.

  “What were you thinking?”

  “I really wanted to have this conversation face to face, but I know your future finances have been weighing on you. I’d like to stay on as your Daddy once you’re finished school. It would be different, Avery. The others would go away. You would work as a teacher during the day, and your nights would be open. I would take care of you.”