As Tears Go By Read online

  His mouth lowered and captured her lips. Long legs shifted as he settled over her. Every kiss brought his body to life. Learning each other’s touch with slow caresses, he dragged his hips seductively over hers and those violet eyes turned luminous.

  Who was this woman? “You have incredible eyes.”

  “Thank you.”

  Her fingers flexed against his arms as soft keening noises traveled from her lips to his. Easing back, he slowly undid the buttons of her shirt, pausing for only a brief moment to allow any objections. Her flushed face tipped as she watched each button come undone. Spreading the shirt wide, his eyes feasted on two perfect breasts framed in soft white lace.

  Trailing his fingers over the scalloped edging, she arched in response, the violet of her eyes deepening with arousal. Soft fawn colored lashes lowered as he peeled the lace cups away and lowered, catching one tiny pink nipple in his mouth.

  “Oh, God,” she gasped, sounding almost panicky.

  Pinching the tight bud gently between his lips, he traced his tongue over the hard tip and released her. “This okay?”

  “Mm-hmm.” She didn’t sound too sure.

  “Becca, look at me.” He waited until her lashes lifted. “Are you okay with this?”

  She nodded tightly.

  “Tell me what you want. If it’s too much we’ll slow down.”

  “I liked what you were doing.”

  Cupping her breast in his palm, his thumb dragged slowly over the turgid tip. Maybe she was nervous and simply not used to experiencing such things. “You have very beautiful breasts.”

  Her blush traveled from her cheeks, darkening her nipples a shade. “Thank you.”

  “Can I see the rest of you?”

  She licked her lips in what he was coming to recognize as something she did whenever she debated internally. “Do you have…protection?”

  He nodded slowly, his body tightening another degree at what her question implied.

  “Then yes.”

  Easing back, his fingers went to the snap of her jeans. He dragged the zipper down slowly, her breath quickening with each whispered tick. Matching white lace panties peeked out of the V of her pants.

  Sliding off the couch, he turned her so her legs were draped over the edge. Plain black pumps covered her petite feet. Removing her left shoe, he lifted her foot and placed a kiss on the delicate arch. Her toes twitched and he wondered if she was ticklish. The image of tickling laughter from her turned him on even more.

  Removing the other shoe he kissed her other arch. Slowly sliding her jeans down her long legs, her posture twisted, leaving her slightly flushed and disheveled as he peeled the sleeves of her shirt from her arms.

  Displayed in only a bra and panties, he took his time regarding her. She was absolutely perfect. He let out a slow breath, feeling a bit outmatched. He wanted to make it really good for her, but her beauty left him staggered.

  Placing a kiss on her knee, his lips travelled leisurely up her thigh. His fingers traced the lace edging of her panties and down they came beneath a gentle tug. Brushing his knuckles over the fine patch of golden curls, he met her gaze.

  Watchful eyes studied him as he slowly nudged her thighs apart. Pink, dewy folds opened and he was mesmerized. Taking his time, he kissed down the crease of her thigh, and licked over the tiny pearl nestled at the peak of her sex.

  Her body jolted and he glanced up at her, but gave her no chance of escape as he pressed his tongue deep. Her mouth moved over a tangle of whispered words he couldn’t make out. With soft, penetrating strokes of his tongue, he tasted her. Her head fell back and she moaned as sweet heat met his tongue.

  His palms glided up her inner thighs, his thumbs parting her folds as he drove her closer to climax. Her cries increased in volume and rhythm. Sinking the first finger deep, her knees drew up and she keened. Twisting his wrist, he withdrew and entered her again. Her arms lifted, elevating her breasts as she gripped the cushion of the couch behind her wild hair.

  His lips teased her clit as his fingers fed into her slit. Slicked and primed, he inserted another finger and pressed deep, brushing soft tissue hidden inside.

  Her eyes flashed open. His lips held her tiny jewel tight as he watched her. Burying his fingers deep, he tickled a bit more and she shattered. Lips parted, body quivering near violently with each intense tremble, she cried out and he drank her pleasure.

  Quiet, gasped breaths filled the room as he leaned back. Licking his lips, he gazed at her, lowering his weight to his heels. “I want to fuck you, angel.”

  Her eyes flared as his crude language penetrated. He was so damn turned on he’d forgotten she shied away from curse words. There was that little tongue again. She deliberated for only a few seconds and then whispered, “Yes.”

  Standing, he lifted her like a feather, her languid weight drifting easily into his arms. She modestly attempted to cover her figure, but he caught her hand and shook his head slowly. “Don’t hide. You’re beautiful.”

  Deep pink crept from her breasts to her cheekbones as her hand dropped delicately to her hip. Lowering her feet to the floor of his bedroom, he went to the dresser and removed a condom, placing it on the nightstand. Turning to face her, he slowly peeled off his shirt, and reminded himself to take it slow.

  “Oh, boy…” she rasped and he almost laughed. The lights were definitely staying on.

  With deliberate slowness he undid the clasp of his belt. Toeing off his shoes and socks he slid the pants to the floor.

  “Ohmygod.” Her mouth opened, as she seemed to take a step back, but never actually moved. That, indeed was the most flattering reaction he could ever recall earning.

  Her attentive appraisal sang to him, bringing a quick rhythm to his heart and heating his blood. Those violet eyes crawled over every bit of exposed flesh like a caress.

  “Tell me what you want,” he whispered, voice husky under the weight of his arousal.

  “I…I’m not sure.” She glanced at his large bed, hesitated, and slowly took a step closer.

  Her fingers stroked the duvet and she glanced over her shoulder at him. She was stunning. The long line of her back tapered to her succulent ass. Her hips flared with feminine flawlessness. Artists couldn’t paint a more perfect picture.

  Her body tensed when he stepped behind her, slowly dragging his fingers down her bare arm and grazing his rigid front against her delicate back. “Whatever you want, angel, it’s yours. Just tell me what you like.”

  Slowly pivoting, she wreathed her arms around his neck and gradually leaned in to kiss him. His fingers squeezed her hips lightly, nudging her toward the bed.

  “Lie back,” he said, as his mouth brushed over hers.

  She lowered and scooted onto the bed as he gingerly crawled over her. His cock rested at her hip as his hands learned her curves. Her body stretched and writhed beneath him as he plucked and licked at her breasts. He made quick work of removing the bra still twisted around her ribs and tossed it to the floor.

  “Braydon, please…”

  Reaching for the condom, he slowly slid it over his length. “May I?”

  “Yes,” she breathed, opening her thighs for him. His motions had turned a bit more desperate since they’d reached the bed, but he intended to give her everything she needed, his own need fueled by hers.

  Lining up his cock with her sex he slowly slid in. Heat wrapped around his length like a hot glove. His spine tingled as his eyes rolled back in ecstasy.

  “Oh God,” she breathed.

  He withdrew a few inches and slowly thrust deeper. Crying out, her fingers tightened over his back, nails pressing deliciously into his skin.

  His hand coasted over her soft thighs, curling around her delicate knees as he lifted and plunged deep. His pelvis kissed hers and he held the position for a long, delicious moment. Not wanting to rush, he focused on pleasing her. As her nails scraped over his shoulders he filled her again and again. “Tell me what you want,” he whispered, pressing his lips to th
e soft curve of her throat.

  “Faster.”

  He increased his speed.

  “Harder.”

  Each thrust became firmer, stabbing deep into her core, rapidly filling her with each penetrating advance. Her voice grew high in pitch as she cried out with each plunge. Her body tightened and pulsed around him as he gave her everything she begged for.

  Driving deep, he rotated his hips and her composure dissolved, her body rocking with uncontainable trembles. Her sobs filled the air, driving his control to the brink. He fought back his release, but it was impossible with her body clamping down so lusciously. His seed left him in a rush and he nearly collapsed with the force of it.

  Pressing his brow into her shoulder, he breathed hard. Her arms fell to her sides as she caught her breath. After a while she sighed and said, “I’ve never experienced anything like that before in my entire life.”

  “Are you pleased?”

  She laughed a bit nervously, but it was a charming sound. “Pleased isn’t the right word. I’m shocked.”

  Pressing his smile to her neck, he chuckled. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to clean up.”

  He withdrew and his cock twitched, already missing her heat. Her body was a sanctuary. Standing, he went to the bathroom and shut the door. Unsure how he’d tempted the gods of karma, he was certain he’d done something great.

  He tossed the condom and washed up, wanting to get back to her as soon as possible. Exiting the bathroom, he asked, “Do you need any—” He frowned. “Becca?”

  The door in the living room clicked. Hustling out of the bedroom, finding no evidence of her presence, he frowned.

  She was gone.

  Chapter Two

  Nikki’s door fell open with a startling crash. Becca grabbed the frame, still needing to brace her weight so her wobbly knees didn’t collapse.

  “Becca? What are you doing here? I thought you were hanging out with GQ boy.”

  Becca pushed her aside and shut the door, throwing her disheveled body against the heavy wood. After catching her breath, she paced and collapsed into the chair in the hall. “I was, but I left.”

  Nikki shuffled closer, two hairy wookie slippers coming into view. “Did he do something wrong? I’ll get my nine iron.”

  “No. He was incredible. I mean…really incredible.”

  Nikki clapped. “Well, that’s fantastic! But why are you here?”

  “I don’t know. We’d just…you know, and then I panicked. I left before I even had my pants buttoned.” Her face heated as she hissed, “I can’t find my underwear.”

  Nikki laughed. “Well, pull yourself together and go back there.”

  “I can’t go back there now! He’s probably furious.”

  “So you had the best sex of your life with a gorgeous man and you’re never going to see him again? He must’ve literally fucked your brains out.”

  Leveling her best friend with a hard stare, she confessed, “I got scared. If this is what sex is supposed to be like…I feel like I’ve been drinking juice all my life while the rest of the world sipped champagne.” She growled. “I want to kill Kevin! For the past year I’ve been beating myself up, thinking I was inadequate. He’s the one that sucks!”

  Nikki chuckled and squatted next to her. “Yeah, Becs, Kevin sucks, but why is tonight a bad thing? Look at what you learned. Sex is fun. You should celebrate your new single status. Get out there. Live a little.”

  “You know I can’t do that.”

  “Why?”

  Her heart was still racing at a rate that made her insides rattle. “I didn’t expect it to be so…intense.”

  “Mmm…that good, huh? Well, maybe Mr. GQ isn’t the guy for you, but there’re lots of guys. Go hog wild. Don’t look at this time of your life as a moment for mourning your tragic marriage. Look at it as an experience in newfound freedom, filled with shebang-igans, tom-fuckery, and absolute dick-bauchery. You go get yourself some ass!”

  She frowned at her friend. Nikki didn’t get it. Becca couldn’t do casual sex. She just couldn’t. There was a fine line between having fun and being irresponsible, and she needed to keep her head.

  Terrible guilt swamped her for sneaking out without thanking Braydon, but she’d been so embarrassed at her inexperience she wanted to cry. If she’d lost it in his apartment, she would’ve been completely humiliated.

  Her life had many facets she wasn’t comfortable letting others intrude on. Her priorities had always been meticulously kept at the top of her list of concerns in life, the lesser desires buried at the bottom, including fun, dating, personal pampering, and, of course, sex. Dating wasn’t something she ever planned on doing again. It simply didn’t fit in her world.

  Nikki sighed. “Do you want to stay here?”

  “No. I should go home. I need to get stuff together for work on Monday. The clients for the Apricot deal are showing up and we’re finally meeting with the architectural firm.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you at the office. Try not to beat yourself up too much. Single Becca lives without regrets.”

  Ha. That was a lie.

  That night she lay in bed replaying the evening in her mind. Her body still held his scent. Her breasts were tender from his handling and other parts of her were swollen from the deliciously rough way he took her.

  She never knew it could be like that. A little knowledge could be a terrifying, but curious thing. Why had Kevin never touched her that way?

  Braydon said she was a ten. Playing back his words, she smiled. A ten. Refusing to go down a path of more self-doubt, she focused on all the wonderful things Braydon said and the way he made her feel, committing his words to memory for a future lonely day—or several.

  A marriage based on lies was not a dependable source of information. The painful knowledge of how false her entire foundation had been, never eased. Perhaps someday she’d get over the lost years of her twenties, but today wasn’t that day.

  * * * *

  Braydon entered the bar and scanned the patrons. She wasn’t there.

  “Back again?”

  He turned as the waitress addressed him. “Yeah. I was hoping to find someone here.”

  “Got a description?” She perched her tray on her apron swaddled hip.

  “Blonde, deep blue-violet eyes, ivory skin.”

  “Sounds lovely. Sorry, I haven’t seen her.”

  “Figures.”

  “Can I get you a drink?”

  He ordered a beer and took a seat at the bar. Their chance encounter had awakened a curiosity in him he hadn’t expected. He held no false illusions about their one night stand, but it smarted knowing she’d fled maybe five seconds after climax. Was she not satisfied?

  He should have gotten her last name. Her friend had his damn ID and he didn’t have more than a vague description.

  He had nothing of hers aside from the panties she’d left stuffed in the cushion of his couch. Was he being a creep, trying to find her when all she’d promised was one night? Maybe, but something drew him back to her, provoked him to find her again. He wished he’d had her number or something.

  The longer he waited in the bar the more disgusted he became with himself. It was as though the entire experience were an erotic dream. He refused to accept that she just bailed without even a goodnight. Despite his earlier self-doubts, he believed she hadn’t faked that sort of unveiled pleasure.

  They had a connection and it scared her. Probably because her marriage just ended.

  Tossing some money on the bar, he grabbed his coat and decided to chalk the incident up to sheer luck, which had obviously run out with her. But no matter how he tried, he couldn’t get her out of his head.

  The drive back to his quiet apartment was made in comparable silence. Though he’d moved from the country to the city, home was a much noisier place. There was always something going on at home. The city was busy, but it wasn’t the same sort of noise he’d grown up around.

  Everything in the city tended to ble
nd into white noise. The cloak of professionalism he wore also veiled a bit of the day-to-day drama. Truth be told, he missed the chaos, missed his family, missed being able to let loose and kick back. He really needed a trip home before this hankering for company got the better of him.

  As he entered his apartment, tossing his keys onto the glass table by the door, he sighed. His imported furniture and state of the art sound system brought little comfort. No matter what he filled his place with, he couldn’t seem to convert the apartment into a home. It was a dwelling, a shelter, but not the warm and welcoming abode he as an architect should be capable of creating. Something was definitely missing.

  Knowing he’d likely never run into little Ms. Perfect again, he refused to admit it wasn’t something but someone. He’d traveled that long road for too long and couldn’t get hung up on searching for his other half, especially when the woman he was fixated on clearly wasn’t meant to be in his life long term. If there were someone out there for him, surely he’d know and not have to go searching a city the size of Pittsburgh trying to chase her down.

  Taking a deep breath, he decided to let go of the fantasy and let kismet take the wheel. If he had another half, she would come to him naturally. But letting go was easier said than done. He never expected to be alone at this stage of his life. Nor did he expect to be the last of all his siblings to find his happily ever after.

  When he went to bed that night her scent still clung to his pillows. Every time he shut his eyes, visions of her flaxen hair filled his mind. Why was he so fixated on her? It was more than loneliness. He was fine with his single status before meeting her. There was something specific about Becca, something he couldn’t put his finger on, but he really wished he’d had more time to get to know her.

  One thing was certain, if he ever saw her again he’d ring her neck for toying with him. Women never had this effect on him. Of course, the first to really grab his interest took off without even providing her full name. Definitely not meant to be.